Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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