I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
