hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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