I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
