Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
