Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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