So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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