Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
