I wish I only lived at night.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
