WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
