WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Your dad touched me again.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
