I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
