dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
