This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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