Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
