She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
