I'm lost and stupid without you.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
