Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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