Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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