i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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