I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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