She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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