My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
