dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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