More tranny stories later!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
