Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
