I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
