There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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