We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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