I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
