girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
