shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
