i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
