come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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