i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
