I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
