Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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