i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
