I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
