If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There r osticjed everywhere
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
