Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
