Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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