I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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