Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
