I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You left your underwear on the fireplace
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
