I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
