New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
