The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
