we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
