I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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