How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
