Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
