how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
