O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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