i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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