The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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