Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
