At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I love you. Go after that dick
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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